Little Blue Eyes.

So much happened is happening. Baby born in early December. Parents in a heartbeat. Figuring it out. Pressure and stress, somehow life can feel boring in the eye of the storm. Oh! And love, in abundance, in waves, in demand.

How true it is, nobody can prepare you for what arrives. Most beautiful of all is the fact that you do it. You do it and you nail it. You walk down the canal with a baby strapped to your chest, coffee in hand, you laugh and you love.

Life is still out there, still for the taking. Just, it looks slightly different.

The experience of bonding is different for a father, in my experience. It’s not as accessible, nowhere near as immediate. Mother struggles too at times. But when away from the family, framed photos of the baby produce more existential questioning than feelings of love. I know it to be true but it makes no sense.

Then the love, desperately wanting to squeeze the baby, like Lennie clasping onto a mouse. Wrapping them up in a fluffy white towel, fresh from a bath, skin indescribably soft. The possibility of it all. And one day, without warning, a smile. Better still, the day the giggle comes.

I still think about water, a lot. Some idyllic stream out there in the world.

I’ve started reading the New Testament (NIV). I want to see what’s in there.